another day has passed, another day winning some money in soccer betting again...haha think have to treat my buddies in m'sia drinks liao....haha and zyan no big treat for you...haha u demand too much wan....haha just kiddin

another week has passed. another part of my life is gone. staring out the window gazing towards the sky, memories flashed passed. the dripping sound of rain, the roaring thunder and lightning strikes splits open the sky. life can flip 180, life goes on, i have been thinking way too much. its time to stop! take a break and move at a slower pace... its work, study, family, friends....all these time...there have been no moment where i can truly let loose and think for myself and breathe in peace.
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tried my hand on betting soccer recently...haha the small gambling spirit has not died...ooops won 2 out of 2 so far....haha so the weeks expenditure is all cover up and paid for....haha maybe even to a trip down to KL is possible with that money....haha
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boring boring boring.... thats how i feel so far....life is a lot less spicer than it used to, alot less troublesome than it used to, alot less happier than it used to, alot less sad than it used to. why? something missing in my life? don't know how to snap out of it...

since the last time i blog, alot of things have happened....nothing has been going smoothly for me...alot of things to overcome, alot of obstacles to clear. life have never been more painful. pushing myself til my limit currently...dunno whether i really can push it over...mentally, physically and emotionally all at my limit already...time pass so quickly yet slowly...how contradicting how ironic....i'm at wits end...heads over heels....crying out for strength and hope yet i'm only getting harsher punishments...really wonder why some people can fall in love and get over it as quickly??? never actually thought about that till recently. my views on life is getting more and more pessimistic...yet i have optimism to push for change i dun want to give in i dun want to give up on my beliefs. for all those who actually reads my blog here's a word of advice and something i learnt "dun treat love without respect and sincerity always be true to it, if not dun ever get into it coz u r goin to end up hurting the other person." i learnt that the hard way and truely regret that i didnt do what is needed to be done. sometimes only when we fall then we know how vulnerable we are. "I still breathe, I still eat and the sun it shines the same as it did yesterday but there's no warmth, no light, I feel empty inside."everything in front of me is hazy and crazy, i just can't find my way out of this maze, everything is in a swirl, the mind is spinning. I dunno how much longer i can brave this world alone. how much more i can take. time will tell but time will not heal the scars and seal the broken pieces of my already shattered heart. life goes on
but only so as i live but don't exist.

"Memories are hard to make
and to forget. One last day,
one last look before I leave
it all behind, to play the role
that was meant for us. The
biggest regret I have is to
lose the person I loved most
and the person I will still
continue to love. All my memories
are deep in my heart and it
hurts so much because there's
so much love in it. "